ST : Living under one roof: The more the merrier

17 Feb 2011,
Living under one roof: The more the merrier

Some families are bucking the trend of smaller households
By Cheryl Ong & Ng Kai Ling

LAST year's population census found that the average household size here has shrunk to a new low of 3.5, but some families - a declining minority - are bucking this trend.

These are large families who live together and look out for and help one another.

The four-room flat of the Yeos in Pasir Ris, for example, is home to 11 people: restaurant owner Nicholas Yeo, 32, his wife, 33, their three young children - aged five years to one month old - his sister, parents, grandparents and the family's maid.

Mr Yeo said he chose this living arrangement to teach his children about family values as well as to take care of his parents.

When they visited their relatives and friends during the Chinese New Year, organising the outing was a logistical challenge.

With Mr Yeo's two other sisters, who live elsewhere, and his brother-in-law joining in, they needed three cars, including a borrowed sedan with enough space in the boot for his grandparents' wheelchairs.

At home, having guests over is out of the question, said Mr Yeo, who takes up a bedroom with his wife and children.

'There's no more room,' he said emphatically, adding: 'There're only two bathrooms in the house, so we have to learn to be patient and take turns. I don't want to imagine the day we all get food poisoning!'

He said the best part about the living arrangement is having the family bond over dinner every night: 'The kids get to learn about traditions and the importance of family.'

His parents and grandparents keep an eye on the children while he and his wife are at work.

The census found that the average Chinese household size last year was 3.4 people, down from 3.6 in 2000. The average Indian household size also fell over the period from 3.7 to 3.6, while the number in Malay households held steady at 4.2.

Families like the Yeos, with more than six people under one roof, made up 11.1 per cent of the total number of households last year, down from 12 per cent in 2000.

The number of households with five or more people fell from 29.9 per cent in 2000 to 26.8 per cent last year, while one-person households rose from 8.2 per cent to 12.2 per cent over the same period.

Sociologists said the main reasons household sizes have shrunk are that attitudes towards the composition of a family have changed and parents no longer see children as a safety net of support for when they are old.

Sociologist Paulin Straughan said: 'The notion of filial piety has also been redefined. It no longer means that you have to be living in the same household - just visiting your parents regularly is enough.'

This was what primary school teacher Marion Chew, 35, had planned on doing when she got married in late 2002. She and her husband moved into their matrimonial home, a four-room HDB flat in Woodlands, and for about a year, they visited her parents and in-laws regularly.

Then she became pregnant with twins and her mother wanted to take care of her during the pregnancy, so the couple moved into her parents' landed property in Sembawang - and they have not moved out in the seven years since, even after the birth of their third child, now aged five.

Ms Chew said: 'My parents help to take care of the children while my husband and I are at work. It's the kind of care you can't get anywhere else.'

Their Woodlands flat is being rented out, while her parents' house is now also home to her sister and two maids.

Like Ms Chew, many who live with their parents do so for pragmatic reasons, especially when husband and wife work and have young children.

Take Madam Neo Geok Kuan, a 73-year-old retiree, who gladly plays the role of grandmother-cum-chauffeur.

Her eldest son, tour agency chief John Lew, his wife and two teenage daughters moved in with her and her husband in their semi-detached house in Hong Leong Garden in the West Coast.

She spends her weekdays picking up her two younger sons' children from school, cooking lunch for them and taking them to tuition classes.

In the evenings, her sons gather at her home for dinner.

She said: 'I like being around to help my children, so I don't mind being like the family driver.'

Mr Lew, 49, said the living arrangement is mutually beneficial: 'I feel more at ease knowing my mum is home to oversee the household, and my wife helps to care for my parents when I'm not around.'

kailing@sph.com.sg

ongyiern@sph.com.sg